Why does love make us do crazy things?

So I wanted to share something very personal and not so dear to me that I hold on to and struggle to get over everyday...I want to share my story because I want others who have gone through it to realize they are not alone and can get through it. Some of you may be going through it right now and not even realize it... and if you are...I am here if you need to talk about ANYTHING. Even if I don't barely know you...

So I am in a new relationship, he's wonderful. Everything about him couldn't be better & I know that if we don't work out I'm thankful for him anyways because he has taught me a lot about myself and made me overcome some of the hardest things I struggle with in a RELATIONSHIP....

This leads me to my horrible relationship experience.... I dated this guy, of course I say it like you all thought I was going to say girl haha but yes a guy who basically changed me....& not in a good way.

In the beginning we were wonderful, peachy, that new exciting period in a relationship where everything is just fun and PERFECT. This stage, I have learned, does NOT last. Not in any relationship... but somewhere in it all I lost myself.

It was like waking up one day and the person you thought you knew like the back of your hand did a 360. Why was he so convinced that he couldn't trust me? This is the simple line that can RUIN a relationship in a HEARTBEAT.....TRUST....I don't care what anyone says this is the KEY to a relationship, without it you've got two people who are bound to go different ways.

It began when I would receive accusing phone calls, out of nowhere? Let me remind you all, I did NOTHING, absolutely nothing, I would be at home in my bed and he would accuse me of cheating? And I spent most of our conversations assuring him I was not cheating and that I only wanted to be with him and that I loved him...that's only the beginning...

Somewhere further down the road be became possessive & insecure. It was slowly headed for disaster... I was spending our days together walking on eggshells, watching every move I made not to tick him off. I became this scared, fearful, insecure, lifeless, and NOT STRONG little girl. I was in a relationship but yet I felt SO LONELY. I was slowly becoming a victim of an abusive (emotionally, physically, and mentally) relationship.

How? You ask...& I don't worry I already know what else is coming out of your mouths...Well you have the option to leave him, & you are dumb for staying with him if that's how he was treating you....& the list goes on and on right? Yeah its just like those lifetime movies where you watch that girl fall in love with a jerk who raises his hand at her and all you can do is feel frustrated through the whole movie and want to shake her and be like YOUR STUPID for staying with him!!! Oh believe me, I am sure ALL My friends thought the same thing. My life was becoming a BAD LIFETIME movie. And from my end of the spectrum, it's easier said than done....

It became grueling...I was so manipulated that I didn't even recognize myself. I was not the Happy-go-lucky girl I once knew. I was this pitiful, broken thing...not human anymore. He was so good at it, so good at convincing me that I was not worth a damn thing. Our relationship became one exhausting fight after another where he would rip me down till I was stripped of all dignity and then he'd explode and leave me scared to leave him. I was convinced I couldn't get anyone else, or that's what he told me. When you're told something so many times....you believe it.....Have you ever heard of those people who will lie and tell a story so many times that they actually start to convince themselves it happened? Yeah well same with this...He told me so many times that I was worthless and no one would EVER put up with me that I truly believed it.

It became a relationship that once was him striving to hold onto me that became me desperate to hold onto him... I will spare everyone the grueling details because it was not pretty but I wanted to share this story with you all because I want people to know that this is a REAL thing and it DOES happen. You don't have to believe me, and you don't have to even try to relate to me but if this story helps atleast one person out there who is a victim of abuse...then that is all I care about.

So you probably are wondering how I got out of this? Well it became so bad that I lost everyone. My parents, My bestfriends, & even him. He convinced me everyone was against him and us being together so I distanced myself and the problem with that became I basically dropped off the planet. I stayed in my room and didnt go anywhere fearing that he would get mad at me. Eventually the lifeless cold person i shriveled up to started to even push him away. He left me.


But this became a miracle. At the time, I won't lie, I thought my life was over... but I soon realized my happiness and relief that he was gone. I started to feel this overwhelming relief, no longer did I have to tell him every detail of where I was going, who I was with, what I was doing, and the list goes on. I was free. I won't forget the line my friend told me that snapped me to reality, "Jenna, you were not yourself. We didn't know who you were and we were scared. You were like a robot. We were truly scared everyday that you would turn up on the news missing or dead."deep stuff huh?

Now I just had to rebuild this broken little girl back up to be a confident woman. & that is something I am still working on.

I struggle still with confidence, especially those who know me pretty well can tell you this. But I am now sure of who I want to be. I am not resentful towards him, only sometimes I have moments where I will notice something I do that I realize I act like that because of him but for the most part I am thankful to have gone through all this because it has made me STRONGER. I know when I meet someone and as soon as they start to show a sign of being anything like him I peace out. I won't let this happen again to me and I hope I can help someone avoid this situation also. It still is taking time, I wish I could say I am 100% better, but i'm not going to lie...I'm not. I still have breakdowns over it, it really was a bad bad movie that felt never-ending, but I'll get there... eventually.

I know some people already know about this situation but I don't want to hide it from anyone. It makes me who I am today and I really hope if someone should read it and be faced with this same issue that they can find confide in me. I am here if someone needs to talk & no judgement will be passed.

Everyone is worth it, you just have to find it in yourself. You're obviously here for a reason, so take that and run with it. Be who you want to and don't let anyone stop you! & most of all learn to trust people, not everyone is bad....his loss of trust is what started his crazy.

"Be who you want to be, not what others want to see"- author unknown

XOXO

Jenna Lyne

40 Ways to Better Your Life

So i stumbled upon this list today and thought it was perfect to share with you all and we should really all take these tips into consideration, I know I will....

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’
5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the nagative blues away.
18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    Next 20 after the jump.
    
21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Remember God heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for _______. Today I accomplished ____.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.

Read more: http://www.glennong.com/2009/04/40-tips-for-better-life.html#ixzz1KXuJLeXq

Love & Relationships... Things you don't think about....

So relationships are hard.(Period). They require a lot of work, a lot of attention, and a lot of time. Some people are cut out for them and some are not. Am I good at relationships? Um I would not say I am horrible but there are some things I am still learning everyday in my relationship now.

Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes and you have to take the time to grow from your mistakes instead of beat yourself up over them. I am going to give a few tips to picking the right person for you and things you should REALLY think about before getting into a relationship....

• Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others.
• Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist.
• Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.
• Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader. THIS IS A HUGE ONE! People also have to realize that you have the right to state your needs, you have the right to have your own wants....people sometimes feel like they do not have the right to get mad about certain things but you do. If that is your opinion and that is something YOU WANT then bring it up because like I said your partner is NOT a mind reader!
• Respect, respect, respect. Inside and outside the relationship, act in ways so that your partner always maintains respect for you. Mutual respect is essential to a good relationship.
• View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team—your differences.
• Know how to manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.
• If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don't assume.
• Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies.
• Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.
• Listen, truly listen, to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Plus it opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own.
• Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn't happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn't an end goal; it's a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.
• Take a long-range view. A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you're both on the same path. Update your dreams regularly.
• Never underestimate the power of good grooming.
• Sex is good. Pillow talk is better. Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. It requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, confiding concerns, fears, sadnesses as well as hopes and dreams.

So I hope this helps a little bit and make you all think twice about approaching a relationship. If you are in a relationship now remind yourself of this stuff and really work on it. I hate to give the bad news but you NEVER stop working on a relationship. It is a never ending process and your all going to have to work really hard to keep the relationship exciting and involved.

Do little things a lot and show the person you care. Something as little as a post-it saying a cute "i love you" or "i appreciate you in my life" will do the trick. It's all about showing you care and that you're in that relationship and willing to make an effort.


Don't run away from love and relationships...they sound overwhelming but when your in a good one....It's Worth It.

XOXO

Jenna Lyne

My Playlist :)

So you might not like all my songs on the playlist but you might like one or two or more....
When i work out I do not really listen to rap so my playlist consist of really random music....

1. S&M- Rihanna
2. For the First Time- The Script
3. Price Tag- Jessie J
4. Hairpin Trigger Heart- Sam Riggs Band
5. Taste- Josh Abbott Band
6. Worry About You- 2am Club
7. Why, Why, Why- Billy Currington
8. Marry You- Bruno Mars
9. Hell on the Heart- Eric Church
10. Fuck You- Cee Lo Green
11. Fucking Perfect- Pink
12. Good Life- One Republic
13. Firework- Katy Perry
14. King of Anything- Sara Bareilles
15. Sex is on Fire- Kings of Leon
16. Lover, Lover- Jerrod Niemann
17. Only Prettier- Miranda Lambert
18. Heart Like Mine- Miranda Lambert
19. Brand New Day- Sting
20. Ours- Taylor Swift
21. Haunted- Taylor Swift
22. Keep it Together- The Co.
23. Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not- Thompson Square
24. We'll Be Alright- Travie Mccoy
25. Just a Girl- No Doubt
26. Any Paramore song basically
27. Any Matchbox 20 song


So my playlist is really girly but you might enjoy some songs on there...sometimes i play a fast song then slower song and do intervals with running fast then slow! Hope one of these songs ends up on your playlist :)

XOXO

Jenna Lyne

Post workout Recovery Snacks...YUM!

Ok so everyone hesitates to eat after that AWESOME workout but guess what....even if you don't want to you NEED to. This is key to working out getting that protein & carbs in your diet after a workout is going to help for a faster recovery for those sore muscles :)

The key ingredients to a post-workout meal are protein and carbohydrates. Protein provides the amino acid profile that your body needs. Amino acids are the building blocks for your muscles. Carbohydrates provide energy. The energy from carbohydrates are converted into glycogen, which is the primary fuel source for your muscles and brain. These two nutrients work hand in hand for muscle recovery.

Next: How Much Do You Eat?
The recommended ratio is technically 4:1, carbohydrates: protein. To make this a simple decision, be sure to include 1 serving of protein and 1 serving of carbohydrate, as a minimum. You will need to adjust the amount according to the size of your meal, your calorie needs, your size, the intensity of your workout and how hungry you are. Typically you should plan for this snack to be roughly 200-300 calories post workout. As a reminder: your unique needs will determine how many calories will encourage best workout recovery. Experiment and see what feels good in your body!

Ideally you want to eat immediately after a work out, but if you feel you cannot do this then eat atleast within the hour post-workout


1. Protein shake:

• 1 serving of protein of choice + milk or water + 1 serving of fruit
• go crazy here and even add a handful of greens for extra punch

2. Yogurt bowl:

• Greek yogurt + banana or fruit of choice + granola sprinkled on top

3. Eggs-n-Toast:

• 2 scrambled eggs or egg whites + 1 slice of whole wheat toast

4. Homemade Protein Bar:

• 1 banana, mushed
• 1 scoop protein powder of choice
• 1/2 cup granola
• 2 tablespoons peanut butter
• Mix ingredients. Spread on wax paper and cover. Freeze for 90 minutes. Thaw in microwave if needed for 10 seconds. Recipe based off of Tony Horton’s Sticky Bar.

5. Cracker Style:

• grab a serving size of your favorite wheat crackers with a dose of toppings
• whole wheat crackers + hummus or peanut butter or cheese

6. The Latte way :

• latte + hard boiled egg or spoonful of peanut butter

7. Cliff Bar, Luna Bar, protein bar of choice:

• find a protein bar that agrees with your body and provides you the energy you need

8. Roll ups:

• sliced deli meat + cheese + fruit of choice

9. PB Toast:

• peanut butter + sliced banana + slice of whole wheat toast

10. Nutzo:

• combination of favorite nuts with a side of your choice
• 20-30 almonds + fruit of choice + granola bar
• 20-30 almonds + greek yogurt

11. Hummus all around:

• 3-4 tbsp hummus + apple slices + slice of whole wheat bread
• 3-4 tbps hummus + carrot sticks + pita bread

12. Bean Wraps

• 1/4 c. beans of choice + 2 tablespoons hummus + small pita or wrap
• 1/4 c. beans of choice + shredded cheese + small pita or wrap
• 1/4 c. beans of choice + salsa + small pita or wrap

13. Classic Oats

• oatmeal + protein powder + fruit topping
• oatmeal + 1 tbsp. peanut butter

So hopefully that is enough options for everyone! Go get your workout on!! and now you have the tools to feed those muscles after that AMAZING workout! Keep up the hard work and thanks for following :)

XOXO

Jenna Lyne

Anxiety and the ones we love...

Dealing with anxiety alone can be exhausting and crippling. It will literally affect everything you do, say, act, EVERYTHING. I can't help but feel I will ALWAYS be the root of the problem when it comes to relationships..."if i wasn't so anxious, we wouldn't be having this fight" "if i could just be normal like other people it would cause less stress on this relationship" "if my anxiety wasn't crippling me today i could go do whatever and actually leave the house" these are all things I think about when it comes to my anxiety. How do we deal with this? How do I get them to understand so I don't ALWAYS feel ALONE even when I am not? How will I ever make a relationship work? How will someone ever have enough patience with me and this disorder? This anxiety is so discouraging, I feel as if i'll never have a normal life, I sometimes feel I wont make it as far as other people because of it...there is so much discouragement with anxiety. EVERYDAY, EVERY HOUR, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY SECOND.

Reaching out to a love one with anxiety can leave us exhausted. Moreover, we begin to feel desperate and hopeless in our day-to-day lives. In the end, we too start feeling anxious, as our relationships become dearly effected and dictated by Anxiety disorders.

As we know, anxiety is an illness which makes us feel uncomfortable in the world we once felt at home in. We illicit an emotional response of fear to much of anything we come in contact with.

Helping those we love can be a draining task. Being patient is extremely rewarding, your partner and self will reap the benefits of such a gratifying experience.

The first step to helping a loved one is learning about Anxiety disorder; there are many resources online providing you with informative content on symptoms, causes and how to effectively combat the illness.

People suffering with anxiety experience multiple physical symptoms. Generally speaking, we are unable to relax and most often suffer from insomnia. Examples of the various symptoms are as followed: fatigue, trembling, muscle tension, headaches, irritability, or hot flashes.

People with this disorder tend to expect the worst; they worry excessively about money, health, family, or work, even in situations where there is no signs of trouble or danger.

Once you recognize and comprehend the causes and symptoms of anxiety, it will be easier to understand from the sufferers perspective and adjust to your world more accordingly.

More specifically, a few useful tips in how to help a loved one can be as easy as giving praise when a task is accomplished.

It is important to change your expectations. Understand that things they have done in the past are different now. Anxiety controls our body and minds, so adapting to change is vital to the success of good help.

Make sure you measure the progress of your loved ones disorder subjectively. Be sure to base it on individual improvement, as there is no standard to follow. Being more flexible is critical to coping and enables both parties to maintain a more regular routine.

 Having a loved one by our side can be the key to paving the road to recovery. It is not the cure but a gift knowing we are not alone in this that matters most. 

xoxo

Jenna Lyne