Lets define it first:
GAD- Many people feel anxious, or nervous, when faced with a problem at work, before taking a test, or making an important decision. Anxiety disorders, however, are different. They can cause such distress that it interferes with a person's ability to lead a normal life.
An anxiety disorder is a serious mental illness. For people with anxiety disorders, worry and fear are constant and overwhelming, and can be crippling.
Generalized anxiety disorder : This disorder involves excessive, unrealistic worry and tension, even if there is little or nothing to provoke the anxiety.
Symptoms:
- Feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness
- Uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts
- Repeated thoughts or flashbacks of traumatic experiences
- Nightmares
- Ritualistic behaviors, such as repeated hand washing
- Problems sleeping
- Cold or sweaty hands and/or feet
- Shortness of breath
- Palpitations
- An inability to be still and calm
- Dry mouth
- Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet
- Nausea
- Muscle tension
- Dizziness
So...there is a better understanding of the whole disorder....there is not much you can do to fix it either. It is all subconscious, I can tell myself that I am completely ok and that there is nothing to worry about but it doesn't stop my heart racing, my short of breath/panic feeling, my constant thought of the thing bothering me....Basically, telling myself it will be ok DOES NOT work.
This is where I'll let you all know what it is like to be me and what is going through my head in situations should be interesting:
Say that I just woke up from sleep, I get out of bed my first thought "what if someone is in my room" well no one is there..."I wonder what time it is, what if I overslept, what if I take a shower and something happens, what if something happened to my family overnight, what if I get hit by a car on the way to class, what if people judge the way I look today..." I'll stop there but I could keep going on and on and on about what goes through my head just as im waking up and getting in the shower. Now say i take my shower, & get ready.."I wonder what people will think of what I'm wearing, what if they think I'm fat, what if they hate my hair or my makeup..." etc. GAD NEVER LETS YOUR BRAIN STOP THINKING! Getting in the car I get very nervous, going to class=EXTREME NERVES, not knowing what we are talking about that day or what is going to happen in class that day puts me on edge. One weird thing that makes me nervous on campus is walking next to people, WHY you ask? I wish I knew. I would compare GAD to a HABIT, you do something over and over cause thats what you have always done and it gets to the point where you CANNOT HELP IT, exactly like GAD. I am usually always shaky, my heart is always racing, sometimes I sweat if I am extremely nervous, I feel like I am going to panic really fast, IT SUCKS!
I handle it though because I have to. I am prescribed medication but I don't like to take it a whole lot because it makes me wayyy too mellow. So I try to take deep breaths and just keep going through my daily tasks. One way to describe what goes through my head is I always feel like EVERYONE is judging me constantly, or like when I see something such as this one time my friend Cara was trying to relate with me on this disorder, well we saw a bike thrown on the grass on campus with no one around it, this is dumb but she asked me if it made me nervous and I said YES, she asked why? I told her "seeing that bike like that makes me think the person got kidnapped like they were riding their bike and someone just stole them so thats why their bike is there." SOOO WEIRD I KNOW but its like my brain makes up scenarios in my head all the time. I also over analyze everything.
I dont know if this helps everyone relate better to me or if it just creeps you all out cause I could see that haha but I am trying to help people relate and put themselves in my shoes for a day.... Meeting me YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW i have this, hanging out with me YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW until i told you and was faced with something that became overwhelming. I have learned and trained myself to deal with it as best as I can. I continue to do little things to help me and better me and force me to put myself out there....I started this blog to help myself get better, I run marathons because running is what keeps me sane it is MY DRUG, I PURPOSELY raise my hand in class and speak out in class to overcome my nerves it increases my heart rate by a ton but I do it anyways....
For those of you I can't convince this is a real disorder, well im sorry try not to be so ignorant because when you tell me your sick I wont be convinced ;)
For the rest of you I hope this helps you all understand and take people like me a little bit more serious when they tell you they feel panic or are nervous...
I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me or to be careful or tip-toe around me but I do ask you acknowledge this is real and I do hope it gives you all a better understanding.... I work on it everyday & I'll continue to work on it & I WILL BE OK! I have been so far :)
Feel free to comment or ask me questions....
love love love,
Jenna Lyne
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